How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This baby is an asshole
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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