It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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