Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
