Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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