Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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