I think scott just propositioned me for sex
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
