So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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