You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
