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well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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