You really coming over, don't trick.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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