I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
