Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
