i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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