i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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