absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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