she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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