if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
