In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
