Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
