I cockslap morals
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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