i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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