grandma shit on top of the toilet
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
