Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
