Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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