he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
