You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
