If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
