dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
