the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
