just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
