We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
