just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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