This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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