is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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