I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
