She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
