i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
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