it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
