The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
