We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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