I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
