She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
