Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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