also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
