i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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