shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You had me at "let me see your balls"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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