Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This baby is an asshole
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
