I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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