So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
