I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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