i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Your dad touched me again.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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